"When you're smiling"

In the last couple of weeks I felt quite often that the word "floundering" wanted to hold some huge space in my thoughts. Then I stopped to look back at all the good that has happened in the past years and I found much that this video represented was so true. Thank you dear Elena.



I had done the following piece about three years ago. At that point in time I had already identified that hope was very important.


I observe the "darkness" of the above creation. Yet it was probably about the same time I wrote the following poem.

The Color of Hope
“Is what you see hope?”
Oh yes, It is hope.

Hope ~
In abounding quantity.
“You do not give up.
You will never give up.
You must never give up!”

A time,
A place,
I feel like giving up.
And again.
And again.
It haunts me.

Maybe that is the black hole inside of me!

Optimism is hope.
I strive to optimism.

Maybe that is why pesstimism angers me so.

Patience also walks hand in hand
With hope.
If there is not patience,
Hope
Will be near
Impossible to find.

What color is hope?
It can be Orange,
Yellow
Or Pink.
Blue is my favorite.
It can be Blue.
Or Purple ~ Majesty, faith.

But regardless
Of the color of hope,
It is bright.
There are angels hovering all about.
Hope.

And even yet I see darkness in the words. I have come to be much more relaxed with the understanding that some people choose the path of pessimism. I have come to realize that rather than anger me I should just try to step away from these folk that have chosen a different path. Sometimes that is more difficult than others. I have to say that I still let others' impressions affect me (part of the reason for the floundering?) but I am not nearly as concerned.

I try to remind myself of the individuals I have touched in the past years by something I said or more recently by something that touches in one of my creations - be it a video or photograph or words or art. I am astonished at the number of views for some of my photographs like the following which has received over 2000 views, at this point 95 comments and 41 people marking as a favourite.



The number of views on my videos has been astonishing. The most viewed video is this one called "creating an art quilt - tutorial".

This one about art journaling has had over 3000 views. I am so pleased to be helping people in some way with the sharing. Maybe you would be helped by it also.



The list goes on. I am certain that if you took a moment or two you also could find many ways that you have touched people's lives. Sometimes we have to think about it but I am certain that you could make a VERY LONG list.

I do want to return momentarily to the difficult years. I created this digital art last week. Click on the image to get a larger version at flickr so you can read the words.



Please remember you can find links by clicking on the words with different colours and if you click on the images in posts you may get an enlarged version so that you might be better able to read the words, as in the link to "suicidal tendencies". "They said" speaks to the suicidal tendencies (particularly of about five years ago) and depression (long term). I do want to emphasize that while I chose no medication, that is certainly not for everyone. It is what I chose but there were some family and friends watching closely over me, offering prayers and support. If you are going through a situation in which you are feeling hopeless and especially if you are feeling alone, medication is probably an excellent choice. I have included a couple of links to the more difficult times. If you want to search for more feel free to go back to earlier days on my windyangels blog. You can do so by going to one of the links mentioned above and scroll down to just above the delphinium photo. You can go from there to older or newer posts.

Please remember ~ try to smile.