Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Beautifuls
This is a story about self esteem. It is not about superior beings. As with most of my pieces it is written for myself firstly. Then it is written for the "Beautifuls". They know who they are but I will give them some identity here just to remind them. The first beautiful is my beloved "Cat". The next is TW. Then comes S. and the most recent that I have told is J. J. may not get to see this. Her family doesn't have a computer in their home. Maybe I'll remember when she comes for a sleepover.
I have identified another Beautiful but I have not told her. She will be able to identify herself as she reads this. She is about my own age. Though she likes to tell stories, this beautiful one is very private about herself.
There are hopefully others that I have tried to tell how beautiful they are. At this instant I can only name one other but I want this to be for all women - women I know or have encountered, women who are reading this. And truly I want it to be for all humanity. Maybe we could change the word to "wonderful" so that men folk might feel embraced by the thoughts as well.

I have a grave concern that humankind does not take seriously the need to tell children, through their
growing up, about how truly beautiful they are. We do not tell each other how wonderful we are. And if we are telling each other, we are doing it not nearly often enough.
Why do we have such a capacity to criticize and lay blame? Somehow we seem to think that positive attributes will be recognized by - what - osmosis?
Now just in the saying I am laying blame. That is not my intent. I want more so that this be a recognition. If it also serves as a gentle reminder, my heart will sing. If it enrages anyone the tears will touch my cheek as they so often do for those who have less.
I only but mention the "men folk". I do not want to stereotype, but I believe you can guess my direction of thinking. Male and female were of course created differently. I believe God sees us all as beloved. Why can't we treat each other in that fashion? In this time there exists more equality. But that is not to say equality exists in every place, and in every moment in this time.

I name individuals as beautiful because they are mostly not recognizing it for themselves. Maybe along the way they have been put down. I think it is not always done intentionally though sadly occasionally it is. I feel sometimes mothers
are not secure in their own beauty, their own self awareness, if they are not telling their own daughters of their worth. Perhaps fathers are not sure if they can tell their own children how beautiful, how wonderful, they are because of today's trends. Again, they have probably not been told this often themselves.

Sometimes as adult people we are put down occasionally, or more, by those we view as being important in our lives. We might see ourselves as being mean, or stupid, or not worthy, or uncomfortable just beacuse of another's doing, another's words. We see ourselves in this way especially when we are at our lowest.

Dear Beautiful ones, I near the end of this lesson. If you already recognize yourself for being beautiful I congratulate you. If you see yourself as being more beautiful than another I reprimand you. Please take a moment now to hesitate. Pause on the beauty of yourself. And then of course proceed to remind your children of how beautiful they are, even if they're a teenager. Maybe especially if they are a teenager (just take care how you say it - maybe an e-mail or note). You might even gently ask those you love to remind you of your own wonderfulness. Don't wait too long. Hearts may be at risk.

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