winns angels

Explanations, no apologies necessary:
I don't really know if anyone cares, but perhaps it will help me to put this here, for you to see. I have not been creating nearly as much art in the past months as I feel capable of, perhaps especially in the last weeks. I truly had hopes to have an open house here to show my art. I truly had hoped to have an etsy shop open and be mailing many of my creations to you. I truly had hoped to have much more available in the line of photographs to sell for my family and friends, any who might have been interested. There is not much interest locally in mixed media, at least not that I've had time to pursue. But remember that I am not apologizing. I am explaining. If you looked at my previous post about the kind of flower I am, it mentioned pride. That is truly what I'm feeling.
While I've not been noticeably ill, those that are my helpers, my therapists, tell me that I have been "working very hard". This has nothing to do with physical labour - absolutely very little to do with physical labour. I have been healing myself. That is much more an emotional, psychological, spiritual kind of work. I can see that for anyone that doesn't know me very well, for anyone that believes in the "protestant work ethic" and in fact this would include some Catholic friends (Humboldt is a very German Catholic community), or just generally those that do not understand, they would sweep away my explanation as quickly as the dust on the floor. Yet for one of my helpers to tell me recently that is something he admires of me, the "hard work", and for Naomi to be nodding her head up and down with a little (or maybe not so little) glow in her eye when I'm repeating that admiration to her, makes me feel even more proud of what I am doing, accomplishing. Other helpers have reiterated how much better I have been doing also.



November is an extremely difficult month for me but here I am telling you all about my hard work. There have been many trials in the past year, particularly months, but I have weathered them. I've even been involved in a "soap opera incident" as I will refer to it. It wasn't really pretty. I was drawn into it totally without my awareness. I am to forget about it but because I have this loyalty to friends it is being extremely difficult to walk away from. Also because of my diabetes and the swinging blood sugars that have always come with that, I tend to a vicious cycle of inferior thoughts, particularly with the high sugars. I have been weathering that. I have been flowing through it with an added height to my awareness, to my strength.
And so I have tried to keep this post positive. I have tried to explain rather than apologize. I will take a moment to say that some of you have noticed moments of huge creative energies. They tend, however, to be frequently interrupted with all this other hard work and I have had major difficulties in arranging the typical help which has been made available for our daughter. Normally at this time of year I've had much help with her. This year it has been interrupted to a large extent.
So I will continue to create, when I can. The creating needs to be more again for me as opposed to being for you. The etsy shop will open when it opens.
Angels be with you my friends. Thank you for all the angels you send to me,
Wendy